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Crohn's Disorder Side EffectsWed, Jun 14th 2000
I don't know what has been wrong with me recently, I have been finding it very difficult to sleep, I cry easily and have been having problems coping with even the most mundane of tasks. I suffer from Crohn's Disease which has been very unsettled over the past few months, causing me lots of pain and requiring a hospital stay. As well as this, my boyfriend (who is normally pretty selfish anyway) has been very unsupportive and I find that I have no one to talk to about my illness, my relationship problems and my worries about the future - especially with regards to how this disease is affecting my life. I feel very unattractive and sad most of the time, even though people tell me that I'm pretty and have a lot going for me, but I really, really don't believe them. When I look in the mirror I just see someone who is ill and depressing to be around. I wish that I could talk to my boyfriend but he is very disinterested, and I find it very hard to talk about my illness to friends and family as I am a very private person and some of the side effects are very distressing. I went to see my doctor about the illness but burst into tears during the consultation, which made me feel so embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I really feel like I can't cope with being ill, having nobody to talk to and also having to put on a front and 'act normal' every day, as well as looking after my boyfriend and listening to his worries. I feel like I'm going to explode some days, and I am finding it hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel even though I am still only 24
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