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Religious wife is conflicted over husband's desire for anal play
My husband is turned on by prostate massage. He has always wanted me to physically wear man parts (dildo and strap on) to please him. (unless I go into a immoral fit than we stop for awhile, until I am able to come to terms with it again. Circle of insanity..It always comes back to me as I am doing something wrong) Up and down our emotions go on this topic..Please bring some light to the subject. He pleases me as well. Although, I think my role playing with male body parts as a female, compromises who I am as a woman. I explained this to him and he doesn't see this the same way. he is very open in his sexuality, he loves being nude in front of me and isn't afraid to tell me what he wants. Automatically, I thought he might be gay, I spoke to him about this and of course he stated he was not, that he just enjoyed the feeling being that it was only from me his wife. Behavioural problem?
I on the other hand was raised to think sex was a bad thing in general. I hate my body, I am opposite of his sexual freedom but I force myself to please him because it makes him feel good. He doesn't see anything "dirty" or "wrong" about his needs as long as it's with me. I of course being raised very dysfunctional about human affection and healthy sex. Have a tendency to view what I am doing with him as morally wrong. Biblical discipline has a lot to do with it as well. The bible states that a woman should not present herself masculine nor a man present himself feminine. Isn't this what we are doing?
Now when I think of this act in this manner, I am filled with guilt and then beginning the vicious cycle of guilt and shame. I love my husband, he's quite loving and giving, he's non-judgmental and is very accepting of who I am as a person whether it be uptight, free or confused, he is always there for me, helping me to get through my troubled feelings. Question is...how do I deal with my confusion on this topic. Record be, he doesn't force me to do these acts, he asks me and he is open to other types of creative sexual pleasure amongst ourselves. 15 yrs of marriage
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