An Alcoholic's Lament
I've been in a relationship for 7 years, my boyfriend and I have a son together. I've been diagnosed with bipolar, and recently have started taking medication. About 4 months ago I started drinking almost every day, to the point of memory loss, passing out. Alcoholism runs in the family. And I knew I needed help - I just didn't seek it soon enough. Last month (on a drunken' stupor), my boyfriend walked in on me and one of his friend having sex. I don't remember how it started, I don't remember the act of having sex, all I remember of that evening is my boyfriend walking in. After that is even a blur. Looking back, I realize my boyfriend and I had a lot of problems with our relationship, actually 'we' had no relationship, we were just being together. But regardless of the problems, the cheating is not my typical behavior. I've never cheated on him, never even had a desire to. After that 'incident' I took 2 weeks off work and went to my parents for one week and did a lot of thinking. When I got back, he and I talked and talked and talked. We agreed about how we had lost 'our' relationship somewhere and that perhaps we could start all over and try to get to know each other again and such. So, now we have our good days and bad days. But the bad days are bad. Twice now when he comes home and been drinking he yells screams, hits me and basically will torment me till he falls asleep. But, last night I had to leave. When I went home this morning to get ready for work, he apologized and wanted me to hold him. That was so hard. I know I hurt him, I know he is so confused about what to do. He wants to break up, then he doesn't want to. I see him struggling with all of this and it hurts so bad. As strange as it may seem, because I don't recall 'that incident' it doesn't 'feel' like I've done anything. I know I have. He doesn't believe the memory loss, he wants to know exactly what happened, who instigated and I don't remember any of it. I guess my question is - is it possible for this relationship to overcome what I have done???
THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.
- 'Anne' is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
- 'Anne' bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
- Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by 'Anne' to people submitting questions.
- 'Anne', Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. 'Anne' and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.