|
Basic InformationMore InformationLatest NewsAHA News: Pandemic Pods Offer Social Relief, But There Are RisksSaying 'I Understand' Makes a Real Difference, Study ShowsCaring for Elderly Loved Ones During a Holiday LockdownGive Your Family the Gift of Regular ExercisePoll: 1 in 3 Parents Pick Holiday Gathering Over COVID SafetyCollege Kid Coming Home for Thanksgiving? Here's How to Keep Your Family SafeAHA News: Despite the Pandemic, Keep Social Connections Strong This Holiday SeasonThink 'Virtual' for Family Gatherings During the HolidaysWhen Your Spouse Gripes About Aging, It Might Harm Your HealthSpouses Share a Lot – Including Heart Health, Study ShowsKids' Hospitalizations Accompany Rising Unemployment Rates: StudyMost American Families Facing Financial Danger During Pandemic: PollCOVID Conflicts Are Putting Big Strains on RelationshipsWhy Some Gifts Are Better-Received Than OthersWhen Parents, Grandparents Don't Agree on Childrearing ChoicesU.S. Grandparents Are Raising Millions of Kids, and It's ToughChild Care Stresses, Hunger Are Harming U.S. Families During PandemicMany U.S. Homes Too Cramped to Stop COVID-19's SpreadWith Pandemic-Related Stress, Abuse Against Kids Can SurgeLove During Lockdown: Survey Shows How Couples Have CopedWith Nursing Homes on Lockdown, Stay Connected With Loved OnesAHA News: Instead of a Tie, Think About Healthy Gifts and Gratitude for Father's DayPandemic Lockdown Increases Child Abuse RiskLoving Family May Lower Future Depression Risk in KidsKeeping Harmony in the Family During Coronavirus PandemicAHA News: If You Hunker Down Against Coronavirus, Don't Stop Reaching Out, Experts Say12 Weeks of Paid Maternity Leave Benefits Everyone: StudyFrozen Donor Eggs May Lead to Fewer Births Than Fresh Ones Questions and AnswersPersonality Disorder or Just a Horrible PersonHusband Jealous of my Friends and FamilyIs it Just a Name?!She's Lied About EverythingMy Family is Ruining my Relationship With my Boyfriend What Is Wrong With Me ?My Boyfriend's Children Won't Accept Me....Does my Boyfriend Have Feelings For His Ex Wife?I Have BulimiaArranged MarriageWhen is Enough, Enough?Breaking UpSoon to be 15 Year Old Step Daughter Who is Physically Abusive to Family MembersI Have Everything I Ever Wanted. Why am I so Miserable?Should I Stay or Should I Go?Wife's BehaviorStep-Daughter is Deliberately AbusiveIs my Sister a Pathological Liar?Lost in Limbo19 Year Old DaughterNeed Help in Building the BridgesLack of Affection and IntimacyIs He Seeing Someone?Marriage QuestionRespect + Anger ManagmentMy Husband With Daughter...... Resentment-Controlling Wife/Passive-Agressive HusbandGetting Married, Stepsons With Awful TempersAdult Son Interferes with Our RelationshipCo-Dependent MotherCan My Marriage Be Saved?On and Off Relationship For Almost 10yrsI Am Tired of MarriageI'm His 2nd Wife. Am I Destined to Play Second Fiddle to His daughter Forever?How do I Get my Husband to the Psychiatrist?Is it Inappropriate to Call my Daughter...Trying to Save 37 Years of Marriage With My Bipolar HusbandAlcoholism and FamilyBipolar Obsessive Thoughts and False Memories Crazy Mother In Law Ruining Our Mental Health and RelationshipCaught In The Middle Caring For Elderly ParentI am a Newlywed and Need HelpHusband's Relationship With His ChildrenSubstance AbuseChronically Ill Non-Compliant 19 Year OldChild With Possible Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)Obsession or ExcuseThe Marriage Corner: How Can I Move Past This?The Marriage Corner: Do You Think my Marriage Can be Repaired?I am Only 26 Years OldMy Boyfriend Saved a Picture of a Girl he Slept With in Case we Split up?Adoptive Mother of 3 Children - SunFlowerHow to Handle my Mothers State of Mind?JoylessShould I Fight For My Marriage?Homesick and Feeling Stuck.Why Does My Wife's Old Boyfriend Bother Me?How do We Get Her to Accept Us as Part of The Family?Another WomanBoyfriends DaughterHow do I Cope With a Parent Who is Trying to Ruin me?Worried About 4-year-old with DepressionSame Views On So Much, but Can't Get Along As A CoupleIt's Me or It's My Mother?Considering Divorce After Several Deaths in The FamilySchizophreniaSchizophrenic Relapse !Please Help Me..My 19 Year Old Daughter is Out of ControlMy 19 Year Old SonI Desperately Want to Make This WorkHelp!!!Marraige Life of my Parents Is This Abuse and What Should I Do?My Girlfriend's Family Is Ruining Our RelationshipI Feel Like I Have Failed - - May 20th 2010Relationship With My Bipolar and ADHD GirlfriendHuge Disapointment With My HusbandI Don't Really Care About Anything. What Should I Do?What Should I do?My Father, The Sociopath...What is Wrong? What Should I do With my 19 Year-Old Daughter's Anger Issue?Dominating Mother How to Help Our College Age Son with Depression and AddictionCan My Marriage be Saved?Personal HygieneHelp Me Please. What is Going On With Me?Parenting a Bipolar Child, Not Quite a Child, Not Quite an AdultAm I Being Used?Is This Jealous Behaviour Normal In a Child?Grandson BehaviorHusband's AddictionHelp or Do Nothing?Pregnant AgainConcernedAre my past sexual fantasies dangerous and unusual?It is finally an emergency. We need help. Please.Trauma and Drama: Why are friends and family rejecting me? Why is my mom following me around to take over my life?Does my husband have bipolar although the doctors said he doesn't?Fear of death and dyinghow to ask if the pics are her?Unhappy MarriageDid I push them too much?How do you turn your back on your 19 year old daughter?What To Do With a Dysfunctional Past SHOULD GRANDPARENTS INSIST ON SEEING A GRANDCHILD My husband wants to leave me My husband no longer believesMy Son's ProblemWhy do I beat myself up over what they think?Bipolar sister, Narcissist boyfriendUnderstanding my sonWorried about my sonChild jealous of moms relationship with her new husbandThis guy I bullyIs There Help Out There? Lonely Mother of ThreeAm I Depressed?Should I Give Up On This Marriage?dealing with demanding mothercan you give me some advice please?17 year old running the houseOut of control 24 year old sisterMy needy son hates my boyfriend. How can I avoid choosing one over the other?voice in my headtwo intelligent adults who feel they don\'t have friends19 Year Old Daugter--Out of control17 yr old refuses help with bi-polar disorderTeen in Full Retreatout of control 16 year old nephewDepression? Bi-Polar? Personality Disorder?i need help with my sisterGet SupportedForgotten or just ignored?Dealing with a family member's complete personality changeMother showering & sleeping in same bed with 5 year oldDisbeliefZoloft - good or badmy little sisterUnattractive regardless, why bother?Coping with Narcissistic BehaviorHow to Deal with the Loss of Familyhusband\'s angerDid I Love my husband and still abuse him emotionallyI have a hard time making friends with other guysHow to communicate to a \'feeler\'homesickhow can i control morbid jealousyHow can I open up and become my old self again?Advice for my unhappily married friendHow can I tell the difference?Cannot support old friend in her affairIs Something Wrong With Her?Need to find a reason for the abuseMom's Unlisted NumberHow to help a Womanizing friend?'Extremely controling' wife and passive husbandA Habitual Liar's Lamentthe way out is through the doorDrug Addict SonAngry At Ex-BoyfriendViolent SisterWhen Will My Boyfriend Grow Up?A Marriage Outside The CasteAngry MomSeeing A Married ManDisordered Family Member BehaviorMy RoommateA Mean, Verbally Abusive WomanStepson With Personality DisorderMom's ProtectorBusted By A 5-Year-OldGetting Along With Narcissistic RelativesPossibly Molested DaughterDirty NieceHelping My SisterCongenital LazinessBlossoming Paranoia?Is Anxiety A Hereditary Factor?Enmeshed With MumHypochondriac DaughterAbusive FatherGoing CrazySelf-Abusive Step-Daughter(Wo)man In The MiddleParanoid DepressionWithdrawn BrotherDysfunctional FamilyParanoiaMy Mother Is Ruining My LifeCowardly StepdadDaughter's Violent MarriageMy Father Dislikes HimHistrionic Sister-in-LawLong-Distance SupportPersonality Disordered GrandmotherDo I Tell My Children I'm Depressed?Father In RomaniaMom's VentingUnhappy In An Arranged MarriageToxic ParentsA Situation For Tough Love?Avoiding Her ParentsBoarding School BluesDepression Affects The Entire FamilyInternet RelationshipI Want To Leave, But For The Children ...Public MenaceSomatization and HypochondriasSelf-Injuring SisterFamily BoundariesDealing with DivorceTrashed HouseRelationship TriangulationWhat To Treat First?Love TriangleProblematic ParentsHis Mother is Ruining Our RelationshipManaging PrioritiesTime to Cut the Apron StringsMommy's New BoyfriendBusy and WantingOver-Protective MotherHe's Not HimselfJealous of My Fiance's FamilyYoung LoveDifferent ReligionsMy Husband's Daughter...My Dad the DictatorMy Children Aren't Speaking..Dogs Instead of Children?My Wife is DepressedFalling ApartProblems with My Daughter VideosLinksBook Reviews |
| |
by Stephen P. Hinshaw Cambridge University Press, 2002 Review by Elizabeth Donaldson, Ph.D. on Jul 6th 2004 
The
Years of Silence Are Past: My Father's Life with Bipolar Disorder opens with a disturbing episode. As his two young
children sleep, Virgil Hinshaw, a philosophy professor at Ohio State University,
watches television with his wife. When a female singer takes center stage, he
is convinced that her lyrics are communicating important personal messages to
him. Although it is late at night, he decides to drive 100 miles to Columbus, Ohio, where
the broadcast is based, in order to speak with her. Fearing for the safety of
her husband, imagining his arrest or death in a traffic accident, his frantic
wife accompanies him. They speed toward the broadcast studio, which is
fortunately closed when they arrive. Even though Virgil Hinshaw is becoming
increasingly excited and agitated, his wife manages to convince him to return
home. When they return hours later, the worried mother looks in on her two
unattended children: they are still safe and sleeping soundly, oblivious to the
nightmarish domestic drama unfolding around them.
Stephen Hinshaw is one of those sleeping children,
and this book is a way of recuperating these lost moments of his past and the
hidden experience of his father's illness. This particular incident occurred
when Hinshaw was only three and a half, yet it is emblematic of much of his
childhood and adolescence. His father repeatedly disappears and returns: his
family rarely talks about where he has gone or why.
These
"years of silence" end (more or less) when Hinshaw is 18 and gives
his father a copy of R.D. Laing's The Divided Self. This gift begins a
series of conversations with his father that lasts 25 years, until his father's
complex Parkinson's illness, dementia, and death. Much of the content of this
book is derived from these conversations as well as from his father's notes,
interviews with other family members, and Hinshaw's own professional knowledge
of mental illness. "Hearing my father recount his story to me profoundly
changed and deepened my own life," Hinshaw writes, "undoubtedly
influencing my choice of career as a clinical psychologist and professor"
(5). Hinshaw is currently a professor of psychology at University of California, Berkeley, and
was a former student of Kay Redfield Jamison, a psychiatrist who is well known
for her compelling first-person account of bipolar disorder, An Unquiet Mind,
and other influential texts on the subject.
One
of the more interesting aspects of Stephen Hinshaw's story is his continuing
effort to use his developing professional expertise to help his father. As his
father describes the course of his illness over the years, Hinshaw begins to
question his father's past diagnosis (schizophrenia) and his current
pharmaceutical treatments (Mellaril). As a result of Hinshaw's intervention,
his father is finally correctly diagnosed with bipolar disorder and receives
lithium for the first time. Lithium, Hinshaw writes, "made him feel safe
in ways that he had never experienced before" (122). This new, more
accurate, diagnosis also helped his father to better understand his illness and
to alleviate some of the guilt he had associated with his symptoms: "he
had longed, for much of his lifetime, to have a physical illness to which he
could attribute his episodes, anything tangible that he could pinpoint as a
cause of his experiences, anything other than the feeling that it was all in
his mind" (143). It is no small achievement on Hinshaw's part that the
new diagnosis of bipolar disorder, its recognizable, familiar symptoms, and its
well-established genetic basis provided his father with this peace of mind.
Many readers unschooled in the history of psychiatry will also benefit from
Hinshaw's explanation of American doctors' tendency to over-diagnose
schizophrenia in the past and from his concise history of the diagnosis and
treatment of bipolar disorder.
Hinshaw's
involvement in his father's treatment is not, however, an unqualified success
story. During one of his father's depressed periods, he suggests adding an
antidepressant to "supplement his lithium" (130). Hinshaw's father
immediately experiences frightening side effects, including disorientation and
reduced eyesight. "My attempt at involvement," Hinshaw writes,
"had clearly backfired. . . . I was extremely reluctant to suggest
medication changes again" (131). Hinshaw's experience here reveals the
risks inherent in taking an active role in a family member's health decisions,
and it also reveals the intense pressures a person in this position faces.
Like many other high-achieving children of people with mental illness, Hinshaw
experiences a "kind of survivor guilt," which both compels him to
play the role of caretaker and plagues him with the sense that he can never do
enough to solve his family's problems (199). (David Karp's The Burden of
Sympathy: How Families Cope with Mental Illness provides an in-depth
examination of survivor guilt and other issues confronting children and
siblings of people with mental illness.)
Hinshaw
is very forthcoming about his father's childhood experiences and how the family
dynamics of his youth might have affected the course of his illness as an
adult. Hinshaw's father, Virgil, was the son of a prominent leader in the
temperance movement who married a former missionary after the death of Virgil's
mother. Virgil's relationship with his stepmother was especially fraught and
often abusive. Her method of disciplining him consisted of brutal strappings
and "lengthy" enemas (29). As an adult, Virgil himself reflected
upon this childhood abuse and its formative effects on his personality.
Stephen Hinshaw notes also how the images and themes of his father's childhood
seemed to resurface during his manic episodes. For example, before his
stepmother would whip him, she would speak in Spanish to him, requesting that he
bare his buttocks. As an adult, Virgil's manic speech would incorporate his
knowledge of Spanish, a tell-tale sign that he was becoming increasingly
agitated (54). As Hinshaw concludes: "the parenting he received
profoundly shaped his self-image, influencing the ways in which he later
interpreted many life events, including his hospitalizations. A large part of
him believed that he was to blame for his episodes and punitive treatments,
perhaps related to some moral weakness. Indeed, he seems to have been awaiting
and anticipating punitive consequences throughout his life" (169).
Hinshaw's
candor in revealing these intimate details of his father's childhood is not,
however, sustained at the same level throughout this narrative. It is ironic
that The Years of Silence Are Past remains relatively silent about the
family dynamics of Stephen Hinshaw's own childhood. (The title of the book, by
the way, comes from a rather cryptic phrase that appears without explanation in
one of his father's notebooks.) There are, of course, several good reasons for
this silence. Hinshaw states, "throughout my childhood I was not aware
that my father had any kind of mental illness" (63). Hinshaw's parents
were advised by doctors to keep the illness hidden from the children, a fairly
common recommendation at the time. This prescribed silence might be charitably
viewed as a way of protecting children from the social stigma surrounding
mental illness. However, while this silence circumvents a public recognition
of the problem, it also reinforces the notion that mental illness is too
terrible and shameful to discuss. Yet perhaps the most important factor
influencing the sense of silence in this book is Hinshaw's mother. Hinshaw
writes:
My mother's
perspective is crucial to my father's story, but I have tried to respect her
understandable desire for privacy. Living with a partner or spouse with
serious mental disorder can be confounding, exhausting, and even terrifying,
especially when secrecy, shame, and lack of professional assistance are the
norm, as was the case throughout much of my parents' lives. My mother was the
foundation of the family for decades, as the following words make clear.
Although there is another set of stories and issues about the rest of my family
that I could recount, this work is primarily my father's story. (8)
This untold set of stories
and issues still lingers in the background, as one of Hinshaw's passing
comments about his sister makes clear: "Sally has told me that she does
not have the same kinds of warm childhood memories of my father as I do"
(64).
Despite these remaining silences, or perhaps even
because of them, Hinshaw has written a book that is a welcome addition to the
growing bibliography of books by people diagnosed with mental illness and their
family members. Hinshaw writes in the introduction, "The more that such
issues are talked about openly, the better, because the cloak of secrecy that
still surrounds these problems may come to be replaced by openness and
compassion" (6). Even though the "years of silence" about
mental illness may not be completely in the past, Hinshaw's book is a
successful attempt to give voice to some of these all-too-often muted
experiences.
© 2004 Elizabeth Donaldson
Elizabeth Donaldson, English/Interdisciplinary Studies, New York Institute
of Technology |